new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
