This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
