You're completely useless in the revolution.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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