You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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