Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
