You work out of a Hotel?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
