ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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