ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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