We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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