if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
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Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize