id be glad to
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
