she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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