We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
