There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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