Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
