I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she looked like the before picture.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
