There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
