Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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