Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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