They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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