This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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