Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
