He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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