Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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