And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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