We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
