she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
