dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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