So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
