And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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