Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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