2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
