They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
