He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
