ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
