im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
