Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
