i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
