I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
