Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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