At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
