She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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