what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
