Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
