The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
