Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize