what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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