It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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