we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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