Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize