The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
