I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
