and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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