I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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