Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My bed smells like the plague
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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