If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
