He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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