Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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