belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
