We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
