just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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