well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
