i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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