well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How external is "for external use only"?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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