we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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