I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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